First of all, I’d like to announce that this here post is number 300! Which means that I’m pretty verbose. And that, if you’re still here, you’re awesome. If you’re new, welcome! You’re also awesome.
Okay. Now on to today’s post:
A friend posted the following comment on my Facebook page yesterday: “What did you think of the ending of the twilight saga? I’m itching to know!!” Well, how can I spout off about Breaking Dawn in that teeny, tiny comment window on my FB page?! If you’ve been around since post #1, you should know that I always have more to say about a book than that. Trying to fit it all in that comment window is futile. So I told her I’d write today’s blog post about BD.
This book pissed me off. Honestly. It’s 754 pages. NO ONE DIES IN THE END. Oh, except for that Irina chick who just seemed like she would be annoying anyway, so no loss there.
I realize that this sounds like a strange reason to be mad at the book, but it’s not. I’m a writer. I’m currently pimping a book out to agents, and I have a few more in the works. I know what it’s like to get attached to characters. I also know what it’s like to KILL them. I’m not afraid to kill off a character (or five) if the story needs it. Sometimes people die. Sometimes they get their heart broken. Sometimes they face a huge coven of vampires or get vaporized by aliens. Deal with it.
After I read Breaking Dawn, I jumped on author Stephenie Meyer’s website and read the FAQs for the book. One of the questions addressed the fact that there was a huge (754 page) buildup to a fight that ended up being a battle of wits and nothing else. Her answer? “…If the fight had happened, it would have ended with 90% of the combatants, Cullen and Volturi alike, destroyed…”
I fail to see a problem with 90% of the people getting killed. Life isn’t all happily ever after, so why should a story always be? If I were to rewrite the book, the following would happen:
Alice would see what was going to happen, so instead of trying to rendezvous with Bella, Edward, etc in the glen, she would have taken Jasper and the others with her to where Jacob and Renesmee were and they’d hightail it out of there. Bella and Edward would probably survive and later meet up with Alice and crew.
Esme would die - she’s too soft. Carlisle would be killed too; he’d probably let Aro and the others kill him rather than fight his old friends, or he’d die trying to protect Esme. Some of the other auxiliary Cullen allies would get killed off, but whatever. Kate would be okay, and Garrett would survive. Zafrina would probably be good too. Rosalie would get hotheaded and get maimed and/or killed. Emmett would make it through because that’s how he rolls. Aro would live because his minions would keep him safe. Dimitri and Felix would probably make it. Caius would be toast. I bet most of the mob the Volturi brought with them would have just run off. Some of the wolves would have gotten killed too.
You wouldn’t actually have to take it to that extreme of a conclusion either. You could just kill a few off, injure a couple of the vamps…for the love of the literary gods: something!
The other issue I have with the book is the whole Jacob imprinting on Renesmee thing. I think Meyer did a good thing when she put “Book 2″ into Jacob’s voice because we realize that his imprinting isn’t a sexual thing, but it’s still freaking weird. Talk about your awkward family situations.
I think Meyer should have stopped with Eclipse. Write the wedding scene in as the Epilogue and call it good. Readers could have dealt with the fact that Jacob was left alone, because when an author writes it, the reader doesn’t have a choice. We could have dealt with no honeymoon scenes – the fire was suddenly gone once Edward and Bella jumped in the sack anyways. Remember my post on conflict in books? Yeah, the tension was ZAPPED once Edward slipped that ring on her finger and she said “I do.”
And finally, my other big beef with the book is that Alice and Jasper – my favorite Twilight couple – are largely non-existent in the book. I missed them. I wanted Jasper’s expertise in pre-battle strategic meetings. I wanted Alice’s quirkiness and wit. But no, we were left with Rosalie and Jacob bickering like a couple of Real Housewives, Esme simpering around about the situation, and Mr. Pouty aka Edward.
And that is why I’m displeased with Breaking Dawn. A whole lot of buildup for a big FAT NOTHING. 754 pages people, 754 pages. Am I still going to see the movie? Yeah, I am. It’s kind of a tradition now – my friend Lisa and I have seen every movie for the past 3 years. Plus, there’s RPatz ogling to be done – it’s a tough job, but somebody’s gotta do it.