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The Photographic and Writing Adventures of MW^2 – Day Two

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So somebody has decided to challenge his writer girlfriend.  Today’s lot of pictures is decidedly less WTF and a little more just meh.  Which makes my captions more difficult, but that’s part of the game.  Well my friends, two can play at this game, so I’m changing the rules a bit and free writing the captions, rather than getting my haiku on.  Here we go…

Copyright 2011 The Brainy Babe

Please read the following in your choice of accent: BBC News, PBS documentary, or Animal Planet narrator:

Ah, yes.  And here we have a rarity of the species: the Expired Trophy Wife.  Note the hair: twenty-five years out of fashion; the heavily caked makeup and the drinking from a martini glass.  By and large, the Expired Trophy Wife is known to frequent bars, hit on anything with a penis, and get laughed at behind her back.  This is the Expired Trophy Wife’s self-imposed curse.  Expired Trophy Wives enjoy hunting the younger individuals of the male species.  They are also prone to flattery and drunkenness.  This particular Expired Trophy Wife was captured on film by the photographer flattering her with the line, “My girlfriend made me promise to take pictures of all the interesting people I met on vacation.”  This is the third shot of three posed photos of said Expired Trophy Wife.  This shot was “the good one.”  This is Helena Handbasket, BBC Yorkshire.

Copyright 2011 The Brainy Babe I’m borrowing from the great Dr. Seuss, because, well I have to.  But, please notice the other shirts on display, because they may make their way into the following passage.  Also remember that this is in Key West.  Lots of drag queens.  ’nuff said.

“I will pick up the hook

You will see something new.

Two [bros]. And I call them

[Bro] 1 and [Bro] 2.

These [bros] will not bite you.

They want to have fun.”

Then out of the box

Came [Bro] 2 and [Bro] 1!

They ran to us fast.

They said, “How do you do?

Would you like to shake hands

With [Bro] 1 and [Bro] 2?”

They were zany and silly,

They ran from me to Sue;

One said “My pen is huge.”

Then smiled Bro 2.

“Welcome to the Keys

Let us show you the way

To have fun

And stay drunk all of the day.”

“No, no, this will not do,”

Said the Cat in the Hat,

As he chased after the bros

Who were quicker than the cat.

“You must behave,

They are new here.”

Bro 1 smiled a grin

From ear to ear.

“I know what we will do,”

Bro 2 said with a grin,

“We’ll introduce them to our ‘sisters’.”

The Cat sighed with chagrin.

Then out of a closet

Bounded ‘Sis’ 2 and ‘Sis’ 1

Bedecked all in feathers,

And looking for fun.

I glanced to Sue,

Who smiled warily,

“Shall we go?” I asked.

“YES!” she replied, merrily.

So off we ran,

From the Cat and his crew,

If you’re ever in the Keys

Beware of Bro 1 and Bro 2.

Copyright 2011 The Brainy Babe

Dog. Hunter supreme.

Buying garlic for the night.

Best watch out, Edward.

Rio’s not too far away.

(haiku fail)

Copyright 2011 The Brainy Babe

I have a feeling this lady didn’t know that she was being photographed.  Or maybe she did.  She looks a little awkward, regardless, huh?  Maybe it’s because she was on her way to go parasailing with her kids (go mom!!).  Maybe she just realized that she’s afraid of heights.  Maybe it was because she just divulged a secret phobia of public sewage systems.  Maybe she forgot her sunscreen and is cringing at the thought of her Nordic-esque skin becoming crispy in the Caribbean sunlight.  Maybe she has a wedgie.  Maybe she’s wondering if she unplugged the curling iron before she left home.  Maybe that’s just her smile.  Or maybe – just maybe – this writer has come a little unhinged.  Nope.  Can’t be the last one, right?

Um…right?!

Guys!!!  RIGHT?!?

 

The Photographic Adventures of MW Squared

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You’ve heard great minds think alike, right?  Well, what happens when you combine two slightly warped, infinitely silly minds?  MW Squared is what happens.  And in today’s edition of The Adventures of MW Squared, I give you the following photos: 

Oh, but wait! First, the back story:

MW2 (the bf) has had a trip for this weekend planned for ages.  He’s in the Keys with a friend of his (I feel so sorry him – gorgeous weather, the beach, scooters on said beach, largest complaint other than his GF not being there [awww!!!!!!] is that his feet hurt.  Meanwhile I’m stuck where I still have to wear a coat at least in the morning, but that’s SO not the point).  The point actually is that we’re like a couple of teenagers, so before he left, we decided that he would send pictures to me of all the strange and wacky things he encounters, but pointedly without captions.  I was to write the captions.  Then, I had the idea of writing Haiku captions for said pictures, the funnier the better.  We laughed at the thought.  Yes, this is what happens when the two of us share a phone call.  Don’t put us in the same room together.

So anyway, here are pictures from Day One of our massive conspiracy to take over the world fun little photo project.  Did you hear something about taking over the world…?

Gah! Okay, I just spit my Diet Dr. Pepper at the screen. :::wipes screen with sleeve:::

Alright, where was I?  So, I’ve only seen this in miniature on the phone before now.  Sorry, the verbage is, um, interesting in that sign. 

Okay.  Lemme see…double entendre, it’s for the kids, southernmost…Ah ha!!  Got it:

Hockey. Way down south.

Oh euphemisms galore!

We have tonsils there?

 

Oh dear…that one was quite silly and could be taken horribly crudely.  Okay, so now might be a good time to inform you that this post is a little on the…er…PG-13 side of things.  Sorry for the confusion and surprise, if any.  And if you weren’t surprised, well then you know me really well. 

Okay, now for number two:

Copyright 2011 The Brainy Babe

 Wow. Just. Wow.

My 65 degrees in the afternoon with cloudless blue sky here in Texas doesn’t seem quite so awesome compared to this picture.  It makes me a bit more poetic, and I may wax a little transcendental…

Huge expanse; timeless.

The street sleeps, but I do not.

Seagulls above…DUCK!!!

 

Glad I’m not standing under those seagulls.  And speaking of random fowl, here’s picture number 3:

Copyright 2011 The Brainy Babe

Rooster, yellow curb.

Phantom hand will choke it; die.

Rooster stew; so good.

What?! You don’t see the phantom hand threatening to choke that hapless wild rooster?  It’s on the left side of the picture, and if you squint a little you can see it.  Here, lemme help:

Copyright 2011 The Brainy Babe

Heh.

And finally, Day One’s photo #4:

Copyright 2011 The Brainy Babe

 

O_o

“…………..”

???

Hmm…oh-kay! I can just see MW2 laughing as he took this picture.  Let’s see if I can take a stab at this one…

Monkeys, like men. Cut

Men, like monkeys: play the game.

Punctuation…good!!

 

And that’s all for today, folks.  Tune in tomorrow for Day Two of our awkward picture/haphazard haiku silliness. 

 

 

 

 

 

Final Flight

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Today I watched the final landing of Space Shuttle Discovery and with it, history. 

“To the ship that has led the way time and time again, we say, ‘Farewell, Discovery.’”

I find myself depressed by today’s events.  With today’s beginning of the end of many of the space programs, I think America is losing out.  Space travel and astronauts used to be so glamorous, so exciting.  It’s unfortunate that the enthusiasm has waned.  Today’s live broadcast from Cape Canaveral gave online viewers a glimpse of the people who still turn out to see one of these amazing machines land, so clearly, the magic is still there, even in its diminished state.

The 1957 launch of Sputnik was huge.  July 20, 1969 marked “One small step for man,” and indeed, “one giant leap for mankind.”  Ask anyone who lived through the ’80s, and NASA plays a big role in their memories – for reasons good and bad.  The program had so much potential when it was launched in the 1960s.

While I realize of course that there are other significant issues that the United States is currently facing, looking beyond ourselves, beyond our very atmosphere, is a privilege and a blessing that we are soon to say goodbye to.

Sure, we’ll be hitching rides with the Russians up to the space station – wouldn’t Gus Grissom, et al. be thrilled? – but it’s not the same.

Where’s the progress?  Where’s the cutting-edge discovery?  Where’s the adventure?  Where’s the exploration?

It’s out of our hands, ladies and gentlemen.  It’s dependent upon other nations and it’s sad that we will no longer stand on our own in the field of space exploration.  The latter 1950s and 1960s were years of excitement and filled with a neck-and-neck space race.  Everything seemed to hinge upon who could make it into orbit first, who could make it to the moon.  Now, people just don’t care any more.  The financial aspect is viewed as just too much to continue the program that many people view as valueless. 

I, for one, mourn the loss of the shuttle program.  As Endeavour and Atlantis end their missions later this year, I’ll probably feel the same way.  With nothing to replace the shuttles, except ideas, I hope we won’t have to wait too long for these ideas to become reality and for space exploration to continue.

It is, after all, the final frontier…

I’m baaaack!!!!

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Hello darlings!  I’ve returned!

“From where?” you ask?  Why, from Walt Disney World!  And you know what I learned from my most recent Disney experience?

  • It’s incredibly disappointing to be turned away from Pirates of the Caribbean because of “technical difficulties.”
  • See also: Space Mountain.
  • Oh, and being evacuated from the 3D Toy Story Arcade, which was one of the few things that your little had on her to do list.  That’s lame too.
  • Cinderella is VERY pretty and speaks with the sweetest, feminine little voice.
  • Also, my little one looks like Cindy’s mini-me.
  • Snow White, Princess Aurora, and Ariel are phenomenally nice and probably wear size 4 gowns.
  • Jasmine (from Aladdin) works out.
  • Parades at Disney are awesomesauce, even when they’re small.
  • Crush the Turtle (from Finding Nemo) makes jokes that are a little over the heads of wee ones.
  • It’s totally rockin’ when your kid gets to turn on the all the Christmas lights at the Hollywood Studios Dancing Lights display.
  • My child is a daredevil and LOVES (and I mean LOVES) Thunder Mountain, but found her rollercoaster limit at Expedition Everest.
  • Beware of Grilled Veggie Panini at Hollywood Studios…unless you want to add food poisoning onto your list of things to do while at Disney World.
  • Fireworks at EPCOT are amazing, even when seen over one’s freezing shoulder on the way out of the park.
  • My kid has Japan in her veins and LOVED every aspect of “Japan” in the World Showcase @ EPCOT: sushi, Taiko drumming, Hello Kitty shopping.
  • Even with all the “hiccups” in our trip, after living in Disney World, it’s an odd combo of relief and suckage to be living back in the real world.

And really, it wasn’t all that bad.  Sure, there were several “technical difficulties.” [Slight understatement]  Sure, I got food poisoning the last day.  But, the important thing is that my kiddo had a BLAST.  She loved just about every moment of it (especially the fast rides). 

So, after my brief blogging hiatus while in Disney World, I’m baaaaack!!!