Tag Archives: book review

Writing a Sex Scene

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Ugh. This is a hard one for me. I feel like sex scenes are so awkward to write. Sure, I’ve written them before, but wow, I have to really put myself in the right state of mind to pull it off.

(Okay, why does everything in that sentence sound like a double entendre?)

Anyway, I just finished reading Steve Martin’s An Object of Beauty, and I must say, he writes the best sex scenes.

They make sense, they don’t feel like they go on for too long, and they never make you feel like a voyeur as you read them. Martin uses the act of sex as an illustration of the state of a relationship. The main character, Lacey, tends to throw men away – until she doesn’t. But when Martin writes a scene between Lacey and a partner…um…between the sheets, he leaves things unsaid. He lets you imagine what’s going on, and he doesn’t go into detail.

I think that’s what makes them so appealing: the element of imagination (and the things left to the imagination!). His scenes also feel organic to the story; they just fit. I hate it when a sex scene feels like filler or detracts from the story.

And I suppose that’s the lesson – and the one I’ll remember as a writer – if it feels natural for the characters to rendezvous in that way, then go for it. Otherwise, don’t force anything, because your characters don’t want to be forced into sex any more than you do. And don’t forget the element of imagination: leave some things unsaid.

…And use the word rendezvous more often; it’s delish!

Breaking Dawn – My Take on the End of the Twilight Saga

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First of all, I’d like to announce that this here post is number 300!  Which means that I’m pretty verbose.  And that, if you’re still here, you’re awesome.  If you’re new, welcome!  You’re also awesome.

Okay.  Now on to today’s post:

A friend posted the following comment on my Facebook page yesterday: “What did you think of the ending of the twilight saga? I’m itching to know!!”  Well, how can I spout off about Breaking Dawn in that teeny, tiny comment window on my FB page?!  If you’ve been around since post #1, you should know that I always have more to say about a book than that.  Trying to fit it all in that comment window is futile.  So I told her I’d write today’s blog post about BD.

Breaking Dawn

This book pissed me off.  Honestly.  It’s 754 pages.  NO ONE DIES IN THE END.  Oh, except for that Irina chick who just seemed like she would be annoying anyway, so no loss there.

I realize that this sounds like a strange reason to be mad at the book, but it’s not.  I’m a writer.  I’m currently pimping a book out to agents, and I have a few more in the works.  I know what it’s like to get attached to characters.  I also know what it’s like to KILL them.  I’m not afraid to kill off a character (or five) if the story needs it.  Sometimes people die.  Sometimes they get their heart broken.  Sometimes they face a huge coven of vampires or get vaporized by aliens.  Deal with it.

After I read Breaking Dawn, I jumped on author Stephenie Meyer’s website and read the FAQs for the book.  One of the questions addressed the fact that there was a huge (754 page) buildup to a fight that ended up being a battle of wits and nothing else.  Her answer? “…If the fight had happened, it would have ended with 90% of the combatants, Cullen and Volturi alike, destroyed…”

I fail to see a problem with 90% of the people getting killed.  Life isn’t all happily ever after, so why should a story always be?  If I were to rewrite the book, the following would happen:

Alice would see what was going to happen, so instead of trying to rendezvous with Bella, Edward, etc in the glen, she would have taken Jasper and the others with her to where Jacob and Renesmee were and they’d hightail it out of there.  Bella and Edward would probably survive and later meet up with Alice and crew. 

Esme would die - she’s too soft.  Carlisle would be killed too; he’d probably let Aro and the others kill him rather than fight his old friends, or he’d die trying to protect Esme.  Some of the other auxiliary Cullen allies would get killed off, but whatever.  Kate would be okay, and Garrett would survive.  Zafrina would probably be good too.  Rosalie would get hotheaded and get maimed and/or killed.  Emmett would make it through because that’s how he rolls.  Aro would live because his minions would keep him safe.  Dimitri and Felix would probably make it.  Caius would be toast. I bet most of the mob the Volturi brought with them would have just run off.  Some of the wolves would have gotten killed too.

You wouldn’t actually have to take it to that extreme of a conclusion either.  You could just kill a few off, injure a couple of the vamps…for the love of the literary gods: something!

The other issue I have with the book is the whole Jacob imprinting on Renesmee thing.  I think Meyer did a good thing when she put “Book 2″ into Jacob’s voice because we realize that his imprinting isn’t a sexual thing, but it’s still freaking weird.  Talk about your awkward family situations.

I think Meyer should have stopped with Eclipse.  Write the wedding scene in as the Epilogue and call it good.  Readers could have dealt with the fact that Jacob was left alone, because when an author writes it, the reader doesn’t have a choice.  We could have dealt with no honeymoon scenes – the fire was suddenly gone once Edward and Bella jumped in the sack anyways.  Remember my post on conflict in books?  Yeah, the tension was ZAPPED once Edward slipped that ring on her finger and she said “I do.”

And finally, my other big beef with the book is that Alice and Jasper – my favorite Twilight couple – are largely non-existent in the book.  I missed them.  I wanted Jasper’s expertise in pre-battle strategic meetings.  I wanted Alice’s quirkiness and wit.  But no, we were left with Rosalie and Jacob bickering like a couple of Real Housewives, Esme simpering around about the situation, and Mr. Pouty aka Edward. 

And that is why I’m displeased with Breaking Dawn.  A whole lot of buildup for a big FAT NOTHING.  754 pages people, 754 pages.  Am I still going to see the movie?  Yeah, I am.  It’s kind of a tradition now – my friend Lisa and I have seen every movie for the past 3 years.  Plus, there’s RPatz ogling to be done – it’s a tough job, but somebody’s gotta do it. ;)

Book Review: ‘The Woman Who Wouldn’t’ by Gene Wilder

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*Sigh*

I just finished this delicious little literary treat today.  I believe it’s all of 167 pages.  It’s simple, it’s sweet, and I’m in love with this little book.

If you recall a previous post, this is one of those library books I just happened to pick up because of the cover art.  (Well, that, and the fact that it was written by Gene Wilder)  Yes, I’ll judge a book by its cover, but that doesn’t always work out for me.  I’m so glad that The Woman Who Wouldn’t caught my eye.  It’s set in the early 1900s and the main character is a violinist.  So, naturally, these elements [plus the fact that it is written by Wilder] made me have to check it out. 

Basically, it’s the story of the main character, Jeremy, who goes a little nuts and gets sent to a German ”spa” to recover.  There, he meets Clara who ends up being the tragically ill and previously abused love of his life.  He learns to love rather than womanize.  He finds his heart and channels it into his music. 

I don’t want to give too much away, but it’s beautiful.  It’s a very quick read; the chapters are crazy short, but it’s like a little brownie of a book.  I can’t describe it.  I love novellas, they’re just enough of a story to satisfy and leave you wanting more.

Conflict in Storytelling

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I am a little perturbed.  My current reading material consists of a chick-lit series by Shanna Swendson.  The four books started with Enchanted, Inc, so that’s how I will refer to the series.  It’s cute; it’s entertaining.  It kind of bridges that gap between YA and romance: no hanky panky, but the possibility of sex is always there; a few minor bad words, no f-bombs – that kind of thing.  I think Swendson did a good job with the first book, and even the second, but then it kind of flounders. 

 

My issue with the series is that there’s too much conflict.  Now, conflict in storytelling is a good thing.  I’m actually in the process of hacking up a novel because I gave my lead character what she wanted too soon and the second half of the story fell flat.  The colorful penmonkey Chuck Wendig even wrote about the necessity of conflict in storytelling, but I argue that there’s a point when the same kind of conflict just gets boring.  Let me explain:

The main character, Katie, and a delightfully yummy guy named Owen just can’t get together.  They try, they fail, they try again another way, he advances, she retreats, she advances, he’s distant, they get together, she moves out of state – you get the idea.  To make matters worse for the pair, the books are rife with other kinds of conflict thrown in the midst. 

Katie and Owen work for a magical company in a world where magic and magical creatures exist – in fact they walk around in broad daylight in the middle of Manhattan.  Katie is magically immune, meaning magic in any form is useless on her, and Owen is probably the most powerful wizard since Merlin, packaged in some mighty yummy GQ-esque good looks.  They spend their time battling the bad guys who are trying to take over the world, or at least the marketplace by launching their own black magic distribution and education company. 

Okay, so all that’s great, but the continual conflict between Katie and Owen – and her subsequent obsession over it – doesn’t create the good kind of conflict that leaves you wondering: “Will they? Won’t they?”  It just makes you want to throw the book at the wall. 

My point: you have to give your characters something.  And you have to give them something real.  You’re falling in love with a guy?  You don’t just ditch him in New York “for the greater good,” you team up with the real Merlin (yes, he’s in the book too), find yourself some magic, stay in New York, help fight the bad guys, and get your man.  Sure, interject some conflict in there, no relationship is perfect, but give that character something.  Otherwise you’re frustrating the reader.  Most people aren’t so selfless that they’ll give up the love of their life just because he chooses to save you instead of chasing the bad guy when the showdown happens.  A story needs a little reality check sometimes.

And I know, I know.  Writing a book is easier said than done.  I KNOW!  But, I’m a reader as well, and I can tell you that if you write a book and constantly dangle a carrot in front of your main character only to rip it away from them two or three times per book, I’m gonna have to stop reading your crap.

That being said, I think the Enchanted, Inc. series is cute and entertaining.  I think there are a lot of people who like it – the Amazon reviews are all fan-freakin’-tastic, I’m just a tough critic.