So somebody has decided to challenge his writer girlfriend.  Today’s lot of pictures is decidedly less WTF and a little more just meh.  Which makes my captions more difficult, but that’s part of the game.  Well my friends, two can play at this game, so I’m changing the rules a bit and free writing the captions, rather than getting my haiku on.  Here we go…

Please read the following in your choice of accent: BBC News, PBS documentary, or Animal Planet narrator:

Ah, yes.  And here we have a rarity of the species: the Expired Trophy Wife.  Note the hair: twenty-five years out of fashion; the heavily caked makeup and the drinking from a martini glass.  By and large, the Expired Trophy Wife is known to frequent bars, hit on anything with a penis, and get laughed at behind her back.  This is the Expired Trophy Wife’s self-imposed curse.  Expired Trophy Wives enjoy hunting the younger individuals of the male species.  They are also prone to flattery and drunkenness.  This particular Expired Trophy Wife was captured on film by the photographer flattering her with the line, “My girlfriend made me promise to take pictures of all the interesting people I met on vacation.”  This is the third shot of three posed photos of said Expired Trophy Wife.  This shot was “the good one.”  This is Helena Handbasket, BBC Yorkshire.

 I’m borrowing from the great Dr. Seuss, because, well I have to.  But, please notice the other shirts on display, because they may make their way into the following passage.  Also remember that this is in Key West.  Lots of drag queens.  ’nuff said.

“I will pick up the hook

You will see something new.

Two [bros]. And I call them

[Bro] 1 and [Bro] 2.

These [bros] will not bite you.

They want to have fun.”

Then out of the box

Came [Bro] 2 and [Bro] 1!

They ran to us fast.

They said, “How do you do?

Would you like to shake hands

With [Bro] 1 and [Bro] 2?”

They were zany and silly,

They ran from me to Sue;

One said “My pen is huge.”

Then smiled Bro 2.

“Welcome to the Keys

Let us show you the way

To have fun

And stay drunk all of the day.”

“No, no, this will not do,”

Said the Cat in the Hat,

As he chased after the bros

Who were quicker than the cat.

“You must behave,

They are new here.”

Bro 1 smiled a grin

From ear to ear.

“I know what we will do,”

Bro 2 said with a grin,

“We’ll introduce them to our ‘sisters’.”

The Cat sighed with chagrin.

Then out of a closet

Bounded ‘Sis’ 2 and ‘Sis’ 1

Bedecked all in feathers,

And looking for fun.

I glanced to Sue,

Who smiled warily,

“Shall we go?” I asked.

“YES!” she replied, merrily.

So off we ran,

From the Cat and his crew,

If you’re ever in the Keys

Beware of Bro 1 and Bro 2.

Dog. Hunter supreme.

Buying garlic for the night.

Best watch out, Edward.

Rio’s not too far away.

(haiku fail)

I have a feeling this lady didn’t know that she was being photographed.  Or maybe she did.  She looks a little awkward, regardless, huh?  Maybe it’s because she was on her way to go parasailing with her kids (go mom!!).  Maybe she just realized that she’s afraid of heights.  Maybe it was because she just divulged a secret phobia of public sewage systems.  Maybe she forgot her sunscreen and is cringing at the thought of her Nordic-esque skin becoming crispy in the Caribbean sunlight.  Maybe she has a wedgie.  Maybe she’s wondering if she unplugged the curling iron before she left home.  Maybe that’s just her smile.  Or maybe – just maybe – this writer has come a little unhinged.  Nope.  Can’t be the last one, right?

Um…right?!

Guys!!!  RIGHT?!?