That’s right folks. I’m procrastinating writing real stuff by engaging in goofy bloggery. Hey, it’s a Monday. I gotta ease into this craziness. Anyways, my keyword word searches have been such a fan favorite that I think it’s time for another installment. (Check out previous posts here and here.) Alright. Here we go. You know the drill. These are actual keyword phrases that have led people to the site. I’m not really sure how they’ve gotten people here, but it is what it is.
I’m in a love triangle, what do I do? Get the friggen frack out. Now! Okay, that’s hardly constructive, but thank you for adding some inspiration to my dating eBook, you troubled anonymous dating freak, you. Kidding, kidding. I don’t know that you’re troubled; it just sounds that way. Okay, first what kind of love triangle are you in? I assume you’re a chick because dudes usually don’t care if they’re in a love triangle; it’s usually perceived as a good thing to have two chicks fighting over you, and well, this is kind of a Nancy kinda question for a guy to be Googling. But, maybe I’m wrong; it’s been known to happen. Okay, first step, without knowing ANY of the details, is for you to figure out what YOU have done wrong. Are you leading a girl on? Are you “the other woman?” Assess the situation and/or message me with more deets. Can’t help you if I don’t know what’s going on. Also, good luck with all that.
saying, you are now entering “the twilight zone” Clearly, you’re not old enough to remember this show.
hurl to frown at not aware WHAT?!? That doesn’t even make any sense. “hurl to frown at not aware”? What on earth…? Okay, wait. Maybe I’m looking at this too soberly. Maybe it’s a set of directions: Take “hurl” to “frown” [because no one likes to hurl, even when they're drunk and it doesn't hurt *not that I would know what that's like* and in my non-experience, I've found such actions make me frown], turn left at “not aware,” and continue straight on to What-The-Hell-Did-I-Do-Last-Night-Ville. Yeah, there you go. That makes a little more sense. *snort*
ifgirlsonly knew how to use a space bar? Also, this ain’t Twitter. If it were, you’re missing your hashtag.
decree of paper work Huh? Do you mean a certain degree of paperwork? Or a piece of paperwork that is a decree? Notice that “paperwork” is all one word, while we’re on the subject. I’m sorry I can’t help you with this; I frankly haven’t got a clue about what you’re looking for. Good luck.
how do you know when you’ve crossed the line of stalking? Right there. Right FREAKIN’ there!!!! If you’re asking the question, you’ve crossed the line. If you’re worried about it, chances are you have something to worry about. Relationships involve two people. If you’re the only involved person in the “relationship,” chances are it’s not actually a relationship and you’re just a freak.
not cool dude: Dude, so not cool. Dude. Also, where’d you leave your time traveling phone booth?
Edward Cullen: Ha! I have nothing more to say about this sparkly, possessive, over-protective, mildly freaky vampire. I’m just a keyword hog and this got someone else here! Muahahahaha!!!
you know you’re a writer when you own it. You call yourself a writer. Oh, and you actually write. Can’t be a writer just ’cause you say you are. You have to contribute to the writing world in one form or another, published or not. Godspeed.
pictures of books! I love your enthusiasm! I don’t think exclamation points are used enough! Seriously! Why do you love books so much?! And why do you get so excited over the pictures of said books?! Did you see how I did that question mark + exclamation point thing?! Hey! I did it again! Because you’ve committed yourself to the obvious gratuitous use of exclamation points, here’s a picture of some of my own books! Enjoy!
why do puck and ash dislike each other Because they both have penises. Oh, wait, was that crass? Okay, um, they’re both guys in love with the same girl. Actually, that’s only part of it. You need to read The Iron Fey series. It has to do with the death of someone special to Ash in the past. He pretty much blames Puck for it. That’s all I’m giving you.
how to change your username again facebook Yeah, I can’t help you, but I’m wondering why you’re wanting to change it AGAIN. Did you engage in some stalkery behavior? Do we need to have a chat? What’s going on with you? How’s that working out for you? Yes, I totally went all Dr. Phil on you and I’m not apologizing. Why don’t you ask Facebook about changing your username again?
And that’s it for today, my lovelies. Happy Monday, and let’s keep the shenanigans to a minimum, m’kay?