Monthly Archives: August 2011

The “Love Triangle”

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Okay authors, I have a plea for you: can we STOP with the love triangle thing?  Especially you young adult (YA) writers?  I’ve begun reading a series by Julie Kagawa – The Iron Fey.  They’re YA fantasy books, and I’ll be the first to admit I like these types of stories because YA books tend to be lighter and don’t really deal with “adult” issues that can kinda drag the reader down.  Although, I will devour a Nick Hornby whenever I get the chance, and those are far from peppy. 

My problem with Kagawa’s books, though, is that there’s this love triangle thing kind of winding up, and I’m kinda exhausted by it.  I realize that I’m still in book one, but oh my freaking literary hell.  The main character, Meghan (I like her name) is kinda starting to get caught between Puck – yes, the “real” Puck – and this winter fairy prince dude, Ash.  The guys hate each other already, because they’re from two different fairy camps and there’s this history between the two – yet to be revealed.  Insert teenage jealousies, and BAM! you have the recipe for every dang YA book I seem to come across.

I realize YA authors are pandering to their crowd a bit.  Teen girls always want two guys fighting over them – until they realize that it’s not all it’s cracked up to be – and come on let’s face it, the formula works:

Slightly awkward plain Jane girl has childhood friend who has always been there at her side.  She starts to notice that he’s not the same little boy she grew up with, he’s actually kinda hot, but she doesn’t feel that way about him – that would be like dating her brother.  Enter dark, brooding stranger…

*PAUSE* Girls, do you know what a dark, brooding stranger means in real life?  Either 1) a sadist intent on hurting/stalking/kidnapping you, or 2) a freaking mental case who is so high maintenance that you don’t even want to deal with him because sadly he’s more of a girl than you are.

Anyway, that’s the formula, and I’m sorry, but as a reader, I think I’d like to see something different.  I realize that’s some good conflict in that there love triangle, and props to those who have done it in the past.  I mean, let’s face it: male territorial shenanigans are fun to write and totally realistic, but holy guacamole!!  Can we find something else to stir things up. 

We have Edward vs. Jacob; Jace vs. Simon; now Puck vs. Ash.  Will it NEVER end?! 

Don’t get me wrong, I’m really enjoying Kagawa’s books; I kind of imagine them as Anime actually because there’s this talking cat, and all this fantasy stuff swirling around.  I also like that there are curse words in the books, because teenagers have horrible language most of the time.  The characters haven’t really dealt with “adult” issues yet, mainly just stuff that can be roughly translated to issues with authority, but they’re entertaining.  I do think it’s time to pick up a Hornby book or similar though, just for a change of pace.  AND, I’m not going to do the best-friend-who-wants-more-versus-the-hot-stranger-fighting-over-the-normal-girl thing in any of my stories.

Breaking Dawn – My Take on the End of the Twilight Saga

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First of all, I’d like to announce that this here post is number 300!  Which means that I’m pretty verbose.  And that, if you’re still here, you’re awesome.  If you’re new, welcome!  You’re also awesome.

Okay.  Now on to today’s post:

A friend posted the following comment on my Facebook page yesterday: “What did you think of the ending of the twilight saga? I’m itching to know!!”  Well, how can I spout off about Breaking Dawn in that teeny, tiny comment window on my FB page?!  If you’ve been around since post #1, you should know that I always have more to say about a book than that.  Trying to fit it all in that comment window is futile.  So I told her I’d write today’s blog post about BD.

Breaking Dawn

This book pissed me off.  Honestly.  It’s 754 pages.  NO ONE DIES IN THE END.  Oh, except for that Irina chick who just seemed like she would be annoying anyway, so no loss there.

I realize that this sounds like a strange reason to be mad at the book, but it’s not.  I’m a writer.  I’m currently pimping a book out to agents, and I have a few more in the works.  I know what it’s like to get attached to characters.  I also know what it’s like to KILL them.  I’m not afraid to kill off a character (or five) if the story needs it.  Sometimes people die.  Sometimes they get their heart broken.  Sometimes they face a huge coven of vampires or get vaporized by aliens.  Deal with it.

After I read Breaking Dawn, I jumped on author Stephenie Meyer’s website and read the FAQs for the book.  One of the questions addressed the fact that there was a huge (754 page) buildup to a fight that ended up being a battle of wits and nothing else.  Her answer? “…If the fight had happened, it would have ended with 90% of the combatants, Cullen and Volturi alike, destroyed…”

I fail to see a problem with 90% of the people getting killed.  Life isn’t all happily ever after, so why should a story always be?  If I were to rewrite the book, the following would happen:

Alice would see what was going to happen, so instead of trying to rendezvous with Bella, Edward, etc in the glen, she would have taken Jasper and the others with her to where Jacob and Renesmee were and they’d hightail it out of there.  Bella and Edward would probably survive and later meet up with Alice and crew. 

Esme would die - she’s too soft.  Carlisle would be killed too; he’d probably let Aro and the others kill him rather than fight his old friends, or he’d die trying to protect Esme.  Some of the other auxiliary Cullen allies would get killed off, but whatever.  Kate would be okay, and Garrett would survive.  Zafrina would probably be good too.  Rosalie would get hotheaded and get maimed and/or killed.  Emmett would make it through because that’s how he rolls.  Aro would live because his minions would keep him safe.  Dimitri and Felix would probably make it.  Caius would be toast. I bet most of the mob the Volturi brought with them would have just run off.  Some of the wolves would have gotten killed too.

You wouldn’t actually have to take it to that extreme of a conclusion either.  You could just kill a few off, injure a couple of the vamps…for the love of the literary gods: something!

The other issue I have with the book is the whole Jacob imprinting on Renesmee thing.  I think Meyer did a good thing when she put “Book 2″ into Jacob’s voice because we realize that his imprinting isn’t a sexual thing, but it’s still freaking weird.  Talk about your awkward family situations.

I think Meyer should have stopped with Eclipse.  Write the wedding scene in as the Epilogue and call it good.  Readers could have dealt with the fact that Jacob was left alone, because when an author writes it, the reader doesn’t have a choice.  We could have dealt with no honeymoon scenes – the fire was suddenly gone once Edward and Bella jumped in the sack anyways.  Remember my post on conflict in books?  Yeah, the tension was ZAPPED once Edward slipped that ring on her finger and she said “I do.”

And finally, my other big beef with the book is that Alice and Jasper – my favorite Twilight couple – are largely non-existent in the book.  I missed them.  I wanted Jasper’s expertise in pre-battle strategic meetings.  I wanted Alice’s quirkiness and wit.  But no, we were left with Rosalie and Jacob bickering like a couple of Real Housewives, Esme simpering around about the situation, and Mr. Pouty aka Edward. 

And that is why I’m displeased with Breaking Dawn.  A whole lot of buildup for a big FAT NOTHING.  754 pages people, 754 pages.  Am I still going to see the movie?  Yeah, I am.  It’s kind of a tradition now – my friend Lisa and I have seen every movie for the past 3 years.  Plus, there’s RPatz ogling to be done – it’s a tough job, but somebody’s gotta do it. ;)

Transmissions from Dating Land: Your Questions

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Well, I realize I haven’t posted another transmission from the crazy land o’ dating in a while, but I am working on the eBook.  Life kinda threw me a curveball and well, the research has hit a bit of a wall so I’m going a new route.  I figure I can write about my own misadventures in the dating world, but I could also ask you for your questions.  I would then answer them here and in the book.

For instance, on Facebook the other day, a friend asked, “Is it too much to ask for me to get a guy who’s not a douche bag?” (To which I answered, “No, it’s not too much to ask, and this is why…”)  Other questions could involve navigating the wide world of Facebook, or who should text who first.  Be creative, people.  And I’m going to be funny about answering them, because I’m not a relationship expert, but I can turn a phrase pretty well.  They can be silly questions too.  Be stupid about them if you want.  I’m game.

So there you go!  Comment below, par favor.  I’ll answer the questions here (probably) with some snarky remark, and then I’ll put them in the book and extend my explanation there.

In other writing news, after the Great Virus Crisis of 2011, I have fixed my computer, thank you Baby Jesus!!!!!!!  I was sweating that one because I would have lost a whole day’s worth of editing (can you say “Sixty pages lost”??).  Also, I’ve begun querying agents for the novel.  If you haven’t read the first chapter, you can find it here.  The title – until my soon-to-be agent decides on a better one – is Wake of Darkness.  I’m excited.

I’m also batting around the idea of a short story or book with the title The High Road to Taos.  Not really sure what it will be about, but I fell in love with that name after I heard it the other day.  I’m chomping on some ideas and I’ll probably start outlining something soon.

And, with Wake of Darkness going to agents and the rewrite officially done, I’m turning back to a little chick lit piece tentatively titled Lunch Dates (but that title will change too.  W.O.D. has had like 6 titles.  Crazy!)  I’ll start hacking that one apart soon, but it’s not so intricate as W.O.D. was, so I should be able to pound it out pretty quickly. 

Um, and then I’ve got a short story/flash fiction compilation that I’m putting together.  It’s full of zombies, espionage, and the green fairy.  And of course there’s the other stuff I’ve got going: a psychology study guide for a Florida school district, the Sheldon Cooper fan blog, some magazine stuff – that sort of thing.

And can I just say how much I’m LOVING that summer is over?!  Don’t get me wrong: I love my princess, but I got so much work done yesterday – I couldn’t believe it.  Baby girl went into first grade and she didn’t want me to walk her into class – not that I minded.  I mean, I love my baby, but I’m not the weepy type of mommy who’s hurt by her desire for independence.  I love that she’s comfortable enough with school that she’s all, “Mommy, I’ve got this.”

So yeah, that’s what’s up.  Now, post yo’ questions below homies.  I lurve you all!

A Novel Idea

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- This writing a novel thing.  I’ve finally finished the, um like fifth draft of the thing.  This has been the literary monkey riding my back for a couple of years.  This is the novel that has forced me to grow.  I have a hard copy of the first draft somewhere.  It’s sad that it’s taken me this long to present something to agents and publishers that I’m actually proud of, but I’ve really jumped into the concept of studying works by other authors, taking their advice, and growing as a writer.

Am I “there” yet?  Well, no.  I’ve got several things published in print and on the Internet, but I haven’t grasped my Holy Grail yet – a published novel adorning the shelves of Barnes & Noble.  But, I will.  Maybe not with this novel – although that seems a waste since I’m utterly exhausted.  Writing the end of a book, when the big climax hits and all the tension is teeming across the page is hard work.  But, it’s done.  Point is, I’ll have a novel on bookstore shelves some day.  Mark my words.  I don’t take “no” for an answer.

And speaking of not taking no for an answer, I graduated Monday!  I know, who’d have guessed, right?  I’m grateful for my family’s and friends’ support, and in retrospect, for my own stubborn bull-headdedness (not a word; don’t care).  I started my Masters a few years ago and about six weeks into the first semester, my world fell apart.  Someone suggested I put it off and concentrate on more practical things, but I wasn’t going to let what happened to me take that dream away too.  My world got better, then it got great, and then it fell apart again.  I kept pushing through.  You’d be surprised how much a study of Clausewitz and Sun Tzu helps when it comes to matters in real life.  It wasn’t easy, and I’m not patting myself on the back here; it’s simply the truth – there were times when it downright sucked and I wanted to quit.  But now it’s finished too, and things just keep getting better and better.