Self-Imposed Hiatus…or something like that

So, I’m an utter FAIL on the whole post a day thing.  It was going so great until life - or rather school – got in the way.  That’s right, the Masters just got real people: the thesis semester has begun.  Which is good, because that means I’m almost done, but it’s also bad because I have this monumental work that I have to pound out on the keyboard.

I had a moment of totally freaking out, and for those that know me personally, you know I’m one of those “I can totally do that” kinda gals.  Well guys, I not only thought I couldn’t do this, but I believed it so much that I was ready to withdraw from the class and try again in a month or so.  I was freaking out and I don’t do that.  Stress is such a constant companion to me that it feels like a fifth limb, or extra head or something equally grotesque and terrifying, but this time, I thought that I’d reached my limit.

I tell you this not for sympathy, but for a bit of realism.  Yes, we all get bogged down once in a while.  We all second-guess ourselves.  We all have moments of insecurity.

Now, I’m totally cool with it.  I mean, I’ve cranked out half-decent 300 page novels in a month’s time, I can do this 100 pager in three months.  It’s all good. 

…or at least that’s what I keep telling myself.

So, anyway, I’ve decided that though I LOVE my blog very much and love my readers even more, I’m just going to have to pull back on the posts and do the best I can.  I’m busy, busy writing for other sites too, so basically all I do is write, read, study, write, eat, sleep, play with my kiddo when she gets home, write, read, study, write, sing a little, study, read, and write some more.  Did I mention that I’m writing?

Talking to myself

You know, you may be crazy if a WordPress blog topic prompt prompts more than just a blog post.  This one came across yesterday, and the subsequent “conversation” followed.  (NB: The first quote/prompt is the ONLY thing from WordPress, and I DO NOT represent the company in any way.  That being said, enjoy the “conversation” it inspired.)

WordPress: “If you could script tonight’s dream, what would the plot be?”

Me: Oh no you don’t, WordPress.  I’m not even gonna go there.  Next topic.

FakeWP: Why not?  It’s a simple question.

Me: Yeah, on the surface, but do you know how many things that could unknowingly dredge up?!  What would Freud say?

FWP: Probably nothing, since he’s dead.

Me: You know what I mean.  First I’d sit down and think up this whole dream scenario, probably where I’d be some cop or total tough chick chasing after a bad guy – since that’s usually what my dreams entail – and then I’d go off on some random tangent and inadvertently reveal a secret crush or something.  My blog is PUBLIC.  People will SEE this!

FWP: Isn’t that the point of a blog?

Me: Well, yeah, I guess, but there are some things that should just not be out there like that.

FWP: Tell me more about being a “total tough chick” in your dreams.

Me: Well, usually it goes: there’s a group of bad guys, usually outside of my house or a building that a few select individuals are trapped in with me.  I’m always one of the ones with guns blazing, fighting my way out.

FWP: And how does that make you feel?

Me: Huh?

FWP: You heard me.

Me: That’s not the point.  See?  You got me all side-tracked.  My point is that I’m not going to script out a dream.  No good can come from revealing that.

FWP: Who are the people who are trapped with you?

Me: Usually my family.

FWP: Do you get them out in time?

Me: For…?

FWP: You know, before anything bad happens to them; so that they’re safe.

Me: Yeah, but not before I totally go Rambo on the aliens or bad guys or whatever.

FWP: So, say you could write that dream – about the aliens and the bad guys and the being trapped in a house.  If you could decide who’d be trapped in the house with you, who would it be?

Me: Nice try, Fake WP.